Monday, November 28, 2011

Well, I think it's time.

I've had a lot of concern lately over meeting my birthmother. I guess the last few posts have voiced my anxiety. With all the stress from school, part of me forgot what turning 21 means for me this coming month. I read a post about another girl meeting her birthmom. She had a good experience; even though I'm scared, I know that thousands of other people like me have had the courage to meet their birth parents and thank them for the courage to give their children a better life. So I took the first step today. I went online and got a phone number that I'm going to call later. From my understanding, in order to open my files and access my birthmother's information, both of us have to do paperwork. I think I'm going to start that paperwork soon. Part of me wonders if my birthmother already knows my name. Is she looking for me, too? Is she planning on doing her side of the paperwork? There are too many what if's to think about. So I'm going for it. In my mind it is a risk. For many people, maybe it isn't. The way I see it is that I'm finding out a bit more about my identity. My life is wonderful as it is now, part of me worries this could mess up my perfectly constructed reality; however, after a lot of consideration, I've decided I'm going to give it a try. It can't hurt. Right?

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Introducing My Beautiful Niece!

(Photographed by Danny Nicolas. Check out his photography here.)

So I've been dying to write this blog post. I actually wrote it the day she was born. But homework ate my life. On November 1, Charlotte was born into this world. So this is what I've gathered from an aunt's perspective:
-Her hands are tiny and wrinkly.
-Her eyes are beautiful. The few times I've seen them open they have been bright and curious.
-She can rock the color pink better than anyone.
-Adam and I love her and haven't even met her, yet. [It makes me excited to have kids someday. I'm excited to feel that for our FUTURE (as in five years) kids.]

So here is what I wrote in my notebook the day she was born:
Well, today I became an aunt!! I have had to keep my mouth shut, because I wanted to let my brother and sister-in-law have the opportunity to announce it loud and proud, before I go and plaster it all over the blogosphere. I am so excited for Chris and Chelsea! In addition, I'm excited for the whole family. Ever since Adam and I started dating, I remember Chris and Chelsea wanting a baby. Also, Ever since Adam and I started praying together, he have prayed every night that a sweet baby would be brought to their family. Prayers were answered. Charlotte is the answer. When we heard the news that a baby was to be born, we were beyond excited. Today she was born and titles are changing. Chris and Chelsea are now Mom and Dad; my in-laws, Grandma and Grandpa; and the rest of us... proud aunts and uncles. How cool is that?! Now, I just have to meet this little girl. I am so excited to hold and love her. Sweet Charlotte, welcome to the world. I am so excited to watch you grow!

Love, Evi

Update: I'm NOT dead. :)

So this lil' blog has been struggling. Why?
I'm in the second semester of my junior year.
Forgive me?
I do have straight A's (real ones, no A- on this semester).
I'm working really hard, and in all honesty I've been struggling with my health.
Being the neurotic slightly stressed out perfectionist that I can be, I have officially beaten myself into oblivion.
I'm trying hard to calm myself and not let my stress take over. But doesn't it always?
Life is hard, but here I am loving it every minutes... Almost too much.
I'm quickly learning that I can't be the perfect wife, daughter, sister, friend.
In a lot of ways, I've always known that. Yet, here I am admitting that I'm not perfect and need to learn to let go and maybe cut back on the Diet Coke.
Wish me luck.
I'm trying to get healthy because right now I am diminishing into the body comparable to a fifty-year-old.
One more month till this semester is over.
Oh and remember, this is my blog and I can admit, talk, whine, or pine about whatever I want!
Love, Evi