Monday, November 15, 2010


Lately I have been thinking a lot about the definition of grace and what it means to me. In every religion it means something different. Grace can mean the saving of a soul through declaring the name of Jesus Christ. Grace can simply mean salvation, as well. As I was walking out of local grocery store the other day I heard "Amazing Grace" being played on the bagpipes by local firemen. The familiar words resonated more than ever with me. Upon arriving home I looked up the lyrics:

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace...

In particular, these verses really made me stop and think, "What is grace?" Webster defines it as "the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings." Being a member of the LDS church I believe that faith without works is dead. I believe we can find salvation without not only the Atonement but also the works that we do here on Earth. Tell me I'm wrong, but I do not believe that grace is simply handed over without any work on our part.
There is no negative connotation to the word "grace". It is elegant and loaded with meaning. Grace is a beautiful word.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

My thoughts in regards to being engaged and getting married

First of all... What is my age again? Adam and I were talking last night and one thing that came up is that we don't think we will ever be fully ready to "tie the knot" till the day of. In all honesty, yes I am handling this all maturely (because for my age, I think I'm fairly mature) but at the same time I don't want people thinking that I am put together all the time. I come across as organized and mature. Here is the thing, I'm a mess most of the time. I'm excited and scared to get married.
I'm scared because it is a massive change. In 127 days I will be a) someones wife, not to mention for ETERNITY b) We will be paying our own rent, bills, etc. c) I will be living with a boy (after living with sisters for all these years and five girl roommates... that is going to be weird) d) I'll be considered a full adult. I'm not saying that I'm not okay with all of this, I think it is going to be an adventure. Nevertheless, there are always going to be worries.
As a general "so you know" statement. I am not organized. I am organized in regards to scheduling and planning, but not in the slightest when it comes to my room (yeah, I know Adam hates disorganization... it'll be interesting). Though, when I close my eyes and think about my priorities and everything I've ever wanted in my life, it is happening. Sure, it is not on the timeline that I expected. In fact, it is all occurring 5 years ahead of when marriage was planned (told you I like planning). Adam Figgat is everything I have ever wanted. To all those who are criticizing me for marrying at 20, riddle me this: If you had Prince Charming knocking at your door and your "happily ever after" taunting you behind that brass lock; would you not open the door and let that opportunity pass based on what the world thinks and your fear? I hope you are answering that you would open the door. All I am doing is what everyone has told me to do: live your life and take risks.
I know we are going to be poor. I know that it will not be easy in the slightest. Regardless, Adam is everything to me. I love him and I will tell it to anyone that questions why I am getting married.