Monday, November 28, 2011

Well, I think it's time.

I've had a lot of concern lately over meeting my birthmother. I guess the last few posts have voiced my anxiety. With all the stress from school, part of me forgot what turning 21 means for me this coming month. I read a post about another girl meeting her birthmom. She had a good experience; even though I'm scared, I know that thousands of other people like me have had the courage to meet their birth parents and thank them for the courage to give their children a better life. So I took the first step today. I went online and got a phone number that I'm going to call later. From my understanding, in order to open my files and access my birthmother's information, both of us have to do paperwork. I think I'm going to start that paperwork soon. Part of me wonders if my birthmother already knows my name. Is she looking for me, too? Is she planning on doing her side of the paperwork? There are too many what if's to think about. So I'm going for it. In my mind it is a risk. For many people, maybe it isn't. The way I see it is that I'm finding out a bit more about my identity. My life is wonderful as it is now, part of me worries this could mess up my perfectly constructed reality; however, after a lot of consideration, I've decided I'm going to give it a try. It can't hurt. Right?

1 comment:

  1. Oh gosh, I really feel this one. My uncle is adopted and one of my closest friends growing up was adopted as well (among others that I know). I know that when my uncle tried to track down his birth parents he didn't have any luck, and eventually decided that maybe it was for the best. My friend got to know her birth mother early on, and while not particularly impressed with her lifestyle (she was a drug addict), she said that she prefers knowing her than not knowing at all. It involves a fair amount of soul searching, but I think most people come to the conclusion that it was a worthwhile experience (regardless of the outcome), and though some feel that they are kinda betraying their adoptive parents by seeking out the ones that gave them up, every adopted person I know has said that it helped them to appreciate their adoptive parents more.
    Anyway, what I'm trying to say is I think you deserve complete support in your decision, and really you only have something to gain... there's nothing that can be done to take away the wonderful adoptive family you already have.